For Keeps
by dvinegypsy
Summary: After Matt recovers from the gunshot wound that brought her back to Dodge, Kitty realizes she's running out of reasons to stay. Will Matt let her leave again? This fictional setting occurs directly after "Return to Dodge", with Doc and Festus still in the mix, and with Matt still carrying out some marshaling duties in town, instead of living out in the wilds. MK closure. Enjoy!


**_"FOR KEEPS"_** _(Characters by CBS)_

 **PART 1**

"You couldn't possibly think that I'd be letting you leave now, Kitty" said Matt, hat in hand.

"Oh, I don't know, Cowboy…seems to me, you don't have much say in my comings and goings, nor much care where I'm concerned" Kitty replied.

Her words felt like a sucker punch to the gut. As his thoughts and emotions played out on his face Matt realized that she was right. He should never have let her leave all those years ago. Sure, he didn't own her, no man did, but that shouldn't have stopped him from asking her to stay. Yet, though he watched her go, never knowing if she would ever return to Dodge, in his heart he always felt that she belonged to him in some small way, and always would. He should never have let her go…

Now, here she was again, staring at him with the same mixture of hurt, anger, disappointment, and deep affection that she had all those years ago before taking the stage to New Orleans, and the words were still stuck in his throat, choking him.

"Well, Matt, if you've got something to say, spit it out already" said Kitty. The look in her eyes implored him to tell her what he had so rarely dared to utter. Does she still love me…after all these years? he thought. He always assumed that she knew he loved her, despite his devotion to his job, but he couldn't remember ever having told her. It wasn't his way.

"Matt, please!" Kitty begged. That wasn't her way, either. Maybe it was time to make a change. He didn't want to risk her walking out that door again, to leave him and Dodge for good.

Kitty's eyes were such a deep, dark blue…so much darker than usual. He was crumbling inside. He could see that his inaction was hurting her, but he didn't know how to start over. She closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and turned away from him. "I'll be on the stage to St. Louis tomorrow afternoon. Then, I'll be heading on, back to New Orleans. Whatever you're looking for, Matt" she wiped her eyes and turned back to face him, "I hope that you find it." With that, Kitty turned, opened the door, and walked out without a backward glance.

"You're an old fool" Matt said to himself as he donned his cowboy hat and adjusted it low on his brow. He hooked his thumbs into his gun belt and stared at the inside of the closed door to the Marshal's office for longer than he should have, before sitting down to attend to some wanted posters, and other odds and ends.

The office door opened. Matt looked up hopefully, but it was only Festus.

"Maaatheeew, I jus' saw Miss Kitty headin' off ta the Dodge House. She was lookin' like she was in a riiight state. What in tarnation did ya go and say to 'er?!" said Festus.

"Nothing, Festus" Matt replied, "I didn't say anything to her."

"Well, Maaatheeew, that there's yer problem!" Festus exclaimed. "You get yer mangey hide over to the Dodge House an' tell that woman ya dadburn missed her! Heck, we've all been missin' 'er 'round here" he grumbled.

"Festus, I just don't know if it'll help any" replied Matt in a defeated tone.

"Maaatheeew, that there woman loves you! Always has, always will. Ya ain't figured that out yet, after all these years? Why in tarnation do you think she's here, Maaatheeew? She sure didn't come back ta Dodge for me, Doc, or Sam. Now if'in ya don't go ta the Dodge House right now an' make things right with Miss Kitty, Doc and I are gonna be powerful sore with you, Maaatheeew, POWEERFUUL SORE!" Festus huffed. "Now I'll watch the jail, you get on over there an' patch things up with Miss Kitty" said Festus, more softly than before.

"Festus, what should I tell her?" Matt asked with sincerity and a pained expression on his face.

"Tell her the truth, ya igit! Tell her ya ain't been right since she left. Tell 'er ya dadburn missed her. Tell 'er yer a dadgum horse's ass for ever lettin' 'er go in the firs' place! Tell 'er ya love 'er, Maatheew" Festus said, "an' tell her ya aim not ta ever make the mistake of lettin' 'er go again…fer all our sakes."

With Festus' words trailing behind him, Matt Dillon flung open the Marshal's office door and strode out into the street, making for the Dodge House with more speed and purpose than he had mustered in a very long time.

 **PART 2**

"What do you mean, she's gone?!" thundered Matt.

"I'm sorry, Marshal. She left just a few minutes ago with Doc Adams" stammered the Dodge House clerk.

"Well, did you hear them say where they were going, at least?" asked Matt.

"No, sir. I can't say that I did" replied the attendant.

The former Marshall looked so crestfallen that the clerk wracked his brain for anything else that might be useful.

"…but Miss Russell will have left her things in her room," he stammered. "She said she would be sure to have everything all packed first thing tomorrow morning for me to have brought down to the station for her. She wanted to be able to get a bite to eat at Delmonico's before the afternoon stage arrived, but she didn't want to be pressed for time."

Matt let out a palpable sigh of relief. His mind had already gotten away from him, racing with the thought that Kitty had found some other way to leave Dodge sooner than she had originally planned.

"Thank you for the information" Matt replied. "If you wouldn't mind, could you send word to me down at the Marshal's Office when Miss Russell returns for the night?" he asked.

"Of course, Marshal" replied the clerk.

Matt had only been a Deputy Marshal for several years now, but old habits for most of the residents of Dodge City died hard. "They will be calling me Marshal until the day I die," he mused. As he turned to walk back out into the street, he wondered whether he should pay Doc a visit. After all, it was likely that Kitty was there with him. After some deliberation, however, he decided to wait for her to return to the Dodge House. What he needed to say to her wasn't for Doc's or anyone else's ears, but for hers and hers alone.

It was getting late, but Kitty couldn't bring herself to come in for the night. Turning in meant tomorrow coming sooner, a tomorrow that she wasn't yet ready to face. Though she had missed her beloved friend Doc, she had failed to hear most of what he had said that evening. Her thoughts drifted when Doc discussed the goings on of the town and his doctoring. Even when he mentioned Festus, whom she had yet to run into since she'd decided to return to New Orleans, she couldn't muster the required energy to ask after him. Each time there was a lull in the conversation, all she could think about was Matt and all she could see was the searing pain that had shot across his face when she'd told him that she'd never mattered to him. It had been as if she'd slapped him.

"Kitty, is something on your mind?" asked Doc.

Kitty steeled herself to deliver a genuine smile.

"Oh, I'm just fine," she lied in her best saloon madam voice. "Why do you ask?" she questioned, and flashed him a crooked, mischievous grin.

"Kitty, you know, we've known each other for a long time now" Doc began, "and I consider you to be like a daughter to me..."

When Kitty's smile did not falter and she made no move to interrupt, he continued.

"Have you told Matt that you're leavin'?" asked Doc.

All at once, Kitty's face fell. She knew that he noticed, but there was nothing she could do to hide it from him. Doc knew her too well.

"Yes, I mentioned it," she began. "I was just coming back from the jail when I bumped into you outside the Dodge House," she replied.

"Well?" Doc prodded.

"Well, what?" Kitty asked, more as a statement than a question.

"Didn't he have anything to say to ya? Anything at all?" probed Doc.

Judging by the glum expression on Kitty's face when he had run into her, whatever Matt had said, if anything, had been an utter disappointment, thought Doc.

"Not a damned thing," Kitty replied, looking thoroughly depressed.

Sitting alone with Doc up in his office had felt like a good idea at first. It had reminded her of what it had meant to belong to a community, to have real friendship, and to be missed. Though Kitty was the type to make friends easily, it wasn't the same. The thought of losing it all again, of losing Matt, was just too much to bear.

"Kitty, my girl, you are a million miles away" Doc said gently.

"I'm sorry, Doc. It's just, you know, hard to say goodbye…" she stammered.

The word "goodbye" had caught in her throat where a rising lump was threatening to suffocate her. She could feel her face crumpling and she just didn't have the energy to pretend everything was all right anymore. Upon seeing this display of emotion so out of character for Kitty Russell, Galen's fatherly instincts toward her went into full effect. He sat down his coffee cup and rose from his chair in what seemed like one fluid motion. The next thing that Kitty felt, between wracking sobs, were his arms gently, but firmly enveloping her as if she were a child, like no father had ever done in her life, but Doc. When her tears had subsided, Doc spoke again.

"Kitty…Matt was never the same after you left," said Doc softly. "He's been kickin' himself for years over not going after you. He doesn't say so, maybe he doesn't even realize it himself, but he isn't the same man he was. A part of him up and left with you on that stage to New Orleans…" Doc mused. "You know, short of that woman he took up with when he had amnesia, I've not known him to have had intentions with anyone else. Kitty, Matthew Dillon has only ever had eyes for you…and I'd be willing to bet a silver dollar that he still does."

His words crashed over her like cold, clear spring water, but Kitty didn't reply. The hope she had carried in her chest all the way to Dodge was nearly extinguished. Nothing short of flint and kerosene was going to rekindle it. "I've got you out from under my nails, Cowboy, and you're gonna stay out," she thought, as she surrendered herself to Doc's embrace for a few more moments, one final time.

 **PART 3**

"Kitty, why'd ya have to go and say that?" she chastised herself. In her heart, she had known it had been wrong of her to punish Matt for simply being who he was. "…the type of emotionally unavailable fool who doesn't seem to mind being shot repeatedly while upholding the letter of the law, but can't tell me three small words, any three that might matter," Kitty grumbled, finishing her own thought aloud.

Safely back in her room at the Dodge House, she had begun to undress for bed, wondering if she would be able to sleep at all in the wake of what Doc had said, and how badly she had treated Matt the last time she saw him.

"It would've been better all-around if I'd never come back," Kitty mumbled.

She had buried her feelings for so many years that she had actually begun to believe she had moved on from this place. Yet, Matthew being shot again, and the rowdy, raucous nature of Dodge City had lured her back. "Why?," she thought.

The light of dusk crept up to her window, but invaded no further. She hadn't bothered to light a lamp. Instead, Kitty hid behind the curtain as she opened the window of her room to let in a little air. There was a gentle breeze that carried in the smell of dust and horses so typical of her old home. This 'perfume' of Dodge hung rather thickly in the evening air, strong enough to awaken memories that had long lain dormant, but faint enough not to overpower the sweet scent of wildflowers that had now drifted into her bedroom. As the breeze rustled her nightgown, the earthy scent of Dodge City assaulted her senses, transporting her right back to the day she'd first laid eyes on this God-forsaken town. It was a mild Spring day, not unlike this one, and as Kitty gazed out the window the memories came back in a torrent that threatened to carry her away if she let it…

She'd just gotten off the stage for something to eat before continuing on, and Dodge City was thoroughly unimpressive. That was until she saw a mountain of a man stride into the restaurant where she was eating and sit down across the room. He had to be one of the biggest men she had ever seen. Of course, Kitty hadn't realized that she'd been staring until he looked up, meeting her gaze. Caught out, she smiled a friendly little smile, and he followed suit from across the room.

"Why do I feel so fidgety?" Kitty thought. "He's just a man. You aren't afraid of a big man," she told herself. Deep down, she knew it wasn't fear that was making her so nervous. Just then, the tall stranger got up from his table and traversed the floor to the table where she was sitting by the window. She tried again, this time with a much more genuine smile.

"I don't recognize you from around here. You must be new in Dodge?" Matt Dillon half questioned, half stated.

"Oh, I am. I'm just passing through, though. I thought I'd stop in for something to eat. It'll be quite a while before the stage stops again," Kitty offered, hoping that she didn't sound as anxious as she felt.

"Oh, you'll be leaving on the afternoon stage, then, I take it?" Matt asked. Inwardly, he felt a little disappointed. It was always nice to see an unfamiliar face, one that wasn't that of a gunslinger, and especially such a pretty one, here in Dodge. When he realized that he was gawking, he quickly glanced around the restaurant, clearing his throat.

"Now we're gettin' somewhere," Kitty thought. By now, she was used to the company of men, and she could always tell when one was interested. Yet, there was something different about this man that she couldn't quite put her finger on. As Matt Dillon scanned Delmonico's, Kitty's eyes raked over him. He looked to be about 6 feet, 7 inches tall. He had a sturdy, muscular frame, a rugged profile, and a well-worn pistol in his gun belt…but there was something almost innocent about his body language and the way he behaved in her presence. No, not innocent, _honorable_. Now _that_ was something she wasn't used to, and it puzzled her. Then, again, in her line of work being honorable was more often a hindrance, than a virtue. She knew that well. Her candid nature had nearly gotten her killed in San Francisco. "Honesty is equated with impudence when its herald wears a dress," she thought. That was when she saw it, faintly glinting beneath his vest in the light that the early afternoon sun cast through the window. He was a lawman. A U.S. Marshal, no less, and up close he was the biggest man she had ever laid eyes on. Kitty had known lawmen before. They weren't much different from other men. In fact, some of them had been worse than other men. As she mulled it over, the thought settling into her mind, she ventured a glance up at this tall, handsome stranger again. What she saw was that he had been making a judicious study of her, as well.

"I'm Matt Dillon, the Marshal here in Dodge City," Matt offered with a lopsided, boyish grin.

"Kitty Russell…and I'm very pleased to make you acquaintance, Marshal," she replied in an inviting, velvety tone.

She knew that she was making eyes now, and she knew that she would likely regret it. The stage to St. Louis was scheduled to leave in an hour, but she'd already determined that she wouldn't be on it. "After all," she mused inwardly, "it wasn't often that one encountered a mountain smack in the middle of the prairie…" Kitty decided to try her hand at mountain-climbing.

A firm knock at the door shook Kitty from her reverie. The sky had completely darkened. She hadn't realized she was crying until she'd felt the cool kiss of the night breeze chill the small trails of moisture on her cheeks. With a new lump rising in her throat, Kitty wiped her tears and braced herself to reply. "Who is it?" she asked, more as a formality than anything. Judging from the time of night and the earlier sounds of footfall on the staircase, which she hadn't perceived she had noticed until now, there was only one man it could be…and she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to see him.

 **PART 4**

"Matt, go away" Kitty said through the locked door to her room. She rested her forehead against the back of the door and closed her eyes and heart against him. She just didn't think she could take any more disappointment. "What could he possibly say now to make up for everything he's never said?" she thought.

"Kitty, open up" Matt implored from hall, on the opposite side of the door.

"You were the one who said we never needed explanations, Cowboy," remarked Kitty in a surprisingly even tone.

"I know what I said," Matt replied, fumbling for the right words. "All the same, I'm here to offer you some, if you'll let me."

Kitty pondered letting him in. After all, what harm could it do? It wasn't as if he could hurt her any more than he already had. His rejection had been clear. She had asked, no, _pleaded_ with him to give her a reason to stay, but all he had done was stare in silence.

"I was a fool to think that comin' back here would solve anything, Matt" she said. "You're the same man who watched me leave all those years ago and did nothin' to stop it. No, Matt. Not this time. I'm through with letting you in."

Matt was at a complete loss. The love of his life was shutting him out, and for good, at the exact moment when he'd resolved to tell her the truth about his feelings. It was utter agony. His hands began to tremble slightly. He wouldn't have noticed, but for it causing the wildflowers he'd brought to shake in his fist. She had left him no choice, but to cut to the chase right then and there in the Dodge House upstairs hallway. Matt leaned into the door frame and let out a heavy sigh. He swallowed hard, took a deep, steadying breath, and resolved to begin again.

"Kathleen…open the door," he said in a low, firm voice. Yet, the words had been spoken with a tenderness so raw the air around him fairly crackled.

At the sound of her name on Matthew Dillon's lips, Kitty's heart nearly stopped. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had called her by that name. That is to say, anyone but him. Her entire body flushed with heat at the memories that name evoked. Slowly, she turned, pressing her back against the door, and tilting her head back against it.

"…I need you," he whispered through the door, in a tone fraught with longing.

At this, Kitty, her back still pressed against the door, turned her head to the side to listen even more intently. She shivered at the urgency in his tone.

"Please…don't go" he finished.

At this point, he had nothing to lose in telling Kitty the truth. He could continue to keep his feelings bottled up inside, and lose her for sure, or he could take a stab at some candor that was long overdue.

Kitty, still reeling, slowly opened the door to find Matthew Dillon leaning against her doorframe in his best attire. In his right hand, he held a bouquet of wildflowers. In his left, he clutched a small parcel in a nondescript, cloth bag. She felt entirely underdressed. No man had seen her in her nightgown since…well, since before she'd left Dodge. She had aged since then. "Time halts for no man, nor woman, for that matter," she inwardly mused, but it made her feel self-conscious in a way that she never had before. She had given her youth to Matt Dillon in exchange for some of the best years of her life, but ended up with nothing. As she grappled with this revelation, Matt offered her the flowers he'd brought. His expression was so intense that the moment they locked eyes seemed to last a lifetime. Blushing, she looked down, purposefully inhaling the intoxicating scent of the wildflowers he'd brought her, and stepping aside so that he might enter.

"I've been a damn fool," exclaimed Matt, as he fidgeted with the small, cloth pouch in his hands. "I could have given you a home and a family, and I should have. I should have given you everything."

Kitty was so taken aback she needed to sit down. While Matt had always been an exceedingly honest person, he had also always kept his deck close to his chest when it came to his feelings. She was stirred, moved beyond words, and the tears began to fall in earnest.

"Oh, Matt…I would've liked that," she croaked, once she had recovered enough to speak.

Matt took a couple of tentative steps toward where Kitty sat on the edge of the bed.

"My heart was yours from the moment I laid eyes on you," he began again. From that first day, I knew I wanted you to be mine. I _needed_ you to be mine. And, yet, I made you suffer for my duty and honor. Kitty, I never allowed us the happiness we deserved. I thought by not marrying I could be fair and true to you, while still upholding my duties as a U.S. Marshal. Turns out that Lady Justice is no man's mistress," Matt finished.

"Lady Justice is a blind, jealous _hag_ " Kitty scorned.

Matt laughed. What started as a chuckle culminated in uproarious laughter as he and Kitty doubled over in stitches. When their fit of laughter had subsided, Matt presented Kitty with the small, cloth bag he'd brought in.

Kitty looked up at him from her place at the edge of the bed, awash in the soft ruffles of her nightgown, and smiled.

"God, she's still so beautiful," Matt thought.

She patted a spot on the bed beside her with an inviting smirk. As Matt came to sit down she began to open the small bag he had presented her with. The bag was made of plain, cotton cloth tied with string, and had a decent weight to it. Kitty wondered what on earth he could want to give her at a time like this. She smiled inwardly, knowing that he'd already given her a gift most precious that night. He had finally told her the truth, after all these years. Whatever was in the bag couldn't top that, or so she thought. She was wrong.

 **PART 5**

"Matt…" Kitty whispered, awash with emotions, as she turned the small object over in her hands. She looked up from the dulled and pointedly met his gaze. The two unshed tears in her eyes betrayed her, daring to fall softly upon her cheeks. After wiping them away, she stared at him, silently questioning his motives.

"Kitty…since the day we met, this has been a symbol of my honor. It was a commitment I made before you came to Dodge, one that I thought was bigger than us," he ventured, "and one that I was unwilling to forsake…," Matt explained, "even when it meant losing you," he finished softly.

Kitty stiffened at his words, but deep down, she knew he was right. It was then, with a bitterness, she realized how she'd come to hate the damned thing. She tried to blot out the words, gently rubbing her thumb over its stamped lettering, "U.S. Marshal." His job had been everything to him. It really _was_ the symbol of all of her misfortune, embodying everything that had pulled Matt away from her for over two decades.

"Over the years, it's meaning has become less symbolic of duty and honor. It's a symbol of regret, and what could have been, more like" he said morosely.

He looked so earnest that Kitty didn't know what to say. In all the years they had known each other, in the Biblical sense or otherwise, he had never been more open and honest with her. It was a long overdue and welcome sight. "I sight for sore eyes," Kitty thought. She cocked her head to the side, wordlessly studying him. "God, he was handsome," she thought. She had never seen him look so vulnerable, not when he was sleeping, not when he was sick, not even with a bullet in his back. This was the Matt Dillon she had always hoped for, the Matt she had always known was there, but whom she had only just now had the pleasure of meeting. He had stopped speaking, making no effort not to stare. As Matt mustered a look somewhere between concern, lust, embarrassment, and affection Kitty took notice of the desire pooling in her core. The color began to rise into her cheeks. She inwardly hoped that Matt couldn't see it, but with his fixed gaze markedly upon her, the blush only spread further, down her neck, and across her chest. She knew that her immense pleasure at spending this time with him would be hard to miss, especially for someone as well versed at reading her body language as Matt had been.

He reached out his left hand to softly stroke a strand of long hair at the side of her face, which had fallen from a pin. He slightly rough hand was warm, comforting, and smelled of fresh soap. She leaned into the palm of his hand with her cheek, and gave him the sultry, wanton look that was reserved only for him. Seeing her look at him that way again made his entire body pulse with need. He was a big man, but she was still a whole lot of woman; a woman who loved him. Kitty Russell was the only woman in the world who would have waited decades for the likes of him.

"I'm a slow learner," he joked, "but I've finally come 'round to your way of thinkin'."

Kitty chuckled, and beamed at him.

"You're slower than molasses, Cowboy, and twice as thick. Any slower, and you would've had to leave this on my grave!" she teased.

"Listen, Kitty, I want you to have it. Consider it a token of the longest non-permanent relationship I've ever had. Accept it as a symbol of my loyalty to you. I'm hanging it up…," he asserted, "…for good."

"Hey, now, here I was thinkin' I was your longest non-permanent relationship?" she quipped, raising one eyebrow and flashing a mischievous grin in his direction.

Smiling, Matt took her face into both of his hands. Kitty's pulse raced, as he leaned in close. When their lips were only inches apart, Matt softly stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Oh, I think we might be able to negotiate favorable terms," he responded smoothly, kissing her square on the lips. It was a gentle, but thoroughly passionate kiss, devoid of artifice. Kitty's heart beat faster. The scent of his skin, the warmth of his mouth, and the heat of the moment were utterly mesmerizing. She struggled to keep her wits about her.

"What kind of terms?" she managed to purr between kisses.

"Oh, very specific terms," he said, smiling a crooked, half smile.

"Look here, Cowboy," she teased, looking affronted, "I'm a business woman. I don't make deals with smooth-talking ex-lawmen, unless I know what kind of returns I'm getting."

Matt chuckled and smiled.

"Of course, the arrangement would be a 50/50 partnership, shared interest-like," he began.

Kitty gave him a withering look.

"I don't have business partners, Cowboy" she said. "They're nothing but trouble."

"I aim to change your mind, Pretty Lady" he asserted, scratching his chin.

"Oh, really?" she replied, interest piqued. "And just how do you plan to do that?"

"Well…I'm going to offer you an arrangement that money can't buy," he divulged, "a partnership of a more _permanent_ nature."

He took her hand, and placed the small, cloth bag back into it. Kitty hadn't noticed, but the bag wasn't empty. Slowly, she turned the bag over, and a single, metal key dropped into her lap.

It was better than any gold band, better than any church ceremony, better than any lost innocence, better than any gift she'd received in her entire life. Matt was giving her a home, his love, and his life…for keeps.

She pulled him close, nearly squeezing the life out of him. Pulling back, she gazed into his eyes lovingly.

"You drive a hard bargain, Marshal" Kitty purred.

"Well?" Matt asked. "What do ya say?"

Kitty pretended to think it over. When Matt began to fidget nervously she decided to have mercy on him.

"I accept," she smirked, "but on one condition."

"And what's that," Matt asked, relief and amusement evident on his face.

"Do ya think Quint can mount this thing?" Kitty enquired, holding his U.S. Marshal badge over her left hand. "As the woman of your dreams, and your longest non-permanent, permanent relationship…I expect the biggest ring in Dodge for my trouble."

"I'll see what I can do," Matt chuckled.  
"Besides," she said, in a throaty voice, "...it might come in handy in a bar fight."

 **End**


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